To Fry Or Not To Fry
by Faded Wings Of Light
Summary: Not for the Miaka fans, or Yui fans. All Tasuki fans are welcome(and other bishonen fans) I am now taking the Miaka bashing...to a very different level. Please read and review, no flames on how bad it sucks..that'll shoot down my ego. U_u;
1. Miaka Bashing Anyone?

~ Disclaimer ~ I don't own Fushigi Yuugi nor do I own Yu Watasi...hope I spelt the right name for the right anime....**looks around for fans that have purchased a Tasuki's fan from Ebay...** hehehe, anyways! I hope no one who likes Miaka reads this because I loathe that food-eating-man-seducing- while-preistising-maniac! So there...anywho...anyone who is a Tasuki fan knows how I feel **sob** how they made him wear that outfit in the OAV..or..was that OVA...**arn't they the same!!??** anywho! and how they made him fall for Miaka even if it -was- under mind control!!! I feel bad for Tasuki...to actually touch that little she-devil. Tamahome should be ashamed!  
  
- Title - Bashing! The other white meat.  
  
- Author - CheezePilotOfPluto99X  
  
=======  
  
Walking along one day down the streets of Konan, Tasuki came upon a tiny little wishing well. He pulled out a coin and tossed it. "I wish for-"  
  
Tamahome appeared out of no where and snatched the coin from the air and quickly sped away. Enraged, Tasuki withdrew his fan and bared his teeth. "Tama!!!!!" He roared before setting off after the money-grubbing Tamahome.  
  
Hotohori exited the palace. His right hand holding the end of his long, dark green hair. "How the cherry blossoms bloo-"  
  
Tasuki and Tamahome appeared at the corner and ran Hotohori to the gravel dirt. Footprinted and convulsing, Hotohori lay there as the two warriors ran around a small pond in the courtyard. "Fighting over me!!!???" A shrill voice came from the palace doors.  
  
Tamahome and Tasuki stopped mid-run and turned. Tasuki hid his fan away. "Miaka...," Tamahome breathed.  
  
Slow motion came into play as Miaka and Tamahome ran towards each other, arms wide open. "Miiiiaaaakkkaaa," Tamahome said slowly.  
  
"Taaammmaaahhhooommmeee," Miaka replied just as slow.  
  
"I'm gonna be siiiicckk!" Tasuki gagged with his index finger in his mouth.  
  
The two came together finally, it seemed as if it took an hour for them to even get a foot away from each other. Tasuki turned away, gagging and making ralphing noises behind the bushes. Hotohori finally regained his footing only to have a cat drop on his head and drive him back to the ground. "Mew!" Tama cried and bounded away.  
  
"This is just not...my day...and...my beautiful face, hair and posture is RUINED!!!!" Hotohori roared.  
  
The air became still as Hotohori's eyes billowed flame columns. He stood before the two warriors and the preistess with his sword in hand, ready for action. "How dare you ruin my day! My hair! My great and wonderful looks!!!! Now you shall pay the peiper! Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!"  
  
Tasuki sweatdropped. "Has he gone insane?!"  
  
Tamahome shrugged. "I don't think he's any different," he scoffed.  
  
Hotohori ran towards Tasuki, his sword swinging madly around. Tasuki ran as fast as his legs could take him, dodging the emperor's raging fury. "I didn't do anything to you, Hotohori!!!" Tasuki cried.  
  
"Yes!! You did! You fanged toothed, purple shirt wearing, red haired mongroul!!!" Hotohori bellowed.  
  
Young girls with Tasuki metal fans appeared and sent fire at the emperor. "It's not his fault!" They yelled.  
  
"Ooohoohoo, yes it is! You all know he wanted me," Miaka boasted.  
  
Tamahome inched away as the fans turned to give their best Tasuki-death- glares. "YOU!!! We were sent here by the all mighty goddesses, Pilot and Peirene! To bash you! Crush you for your damned seductive ways! How dare you play with Nakago's, Hotohori's, Tasuki's and the poor Tama's mind! That cat didn't do a thing to you! That is inhumane! We all know what you are!!"  
  
Miaka blinked.  
  
"You are the wicked witch of the north! We have seen you on your little subway sub and eating chocolate pudding in the sky!"  
  
O_O;  
  
Miaka dodged each of the fireballs. "I did nothing! It's not my fault I am the most beautiful young woman in the FY world!"  
  
Yui appears with red eyes. "How DARE you!" She growled.  
  
"Oooh! Yui! You're here to save me!"  
  
The fans turn to both the preistesses. "Yui is not any different than you, Miaka! You will both suffer our wrath!"  
  
Yui blinked with surprise. "I didn't do anything wrong!"  
  
"Yes, yes you did! Seducing poor Nakago and treating poor Suboshi like dirt!! we LOATHE you!"  
  
Tasuki sat nearby, his eyes as big as saucers. "Ummm....what about me?" He inquired.  
  
Hotohori was biting his leg madly like a rabid dog. "You have disgraced your grace! Making me ugly infront of all these girls! Now I will make sure you won't run away anymore!" He growled.  
  
What will happen next? Will the fans take out the -trash- and renew stardom to Tasuki?! Find out in Chapter two! ** gomen nasai for the shortness of this chapter..its' just my humor bone is acting funny...^^; but the next chapter'll be longer** 


	2. The Insane Emperor and New Hideout

~ Disclaimer ~ I don't own Fushigi Yuugi nor do I own Yu Watasi...hope I spelt the right name for the right anime....**looks around for fans that have purchased a Tasuki's fan from Ebay...** hehehe, anyways! I hope no one who likes Miaka reads this because I loathe that food-eating-man-seducing- while-preistising-maniac! So there...anywho...anyone who is a Tasuki fan knows how I feel **sob** how they made him wear that outfit in the OAV..or..was that OVA...**arn't they the same!!??** anywho! and how they made him fall for Miaka even if it -was- under mind control!!! I feel bad for Tasuki...to actually touch that little she-devil. Tamahome should be ashamed!  
  
- Title - Bashing! The other white meat.  
  
- Author - CheezePilotOfPluto99X  
  
===============  
  
I didn't think this fic would be a wee bit popular. So, if this second chapter isn't as good...we'll make it better in the third.  
  
===============  
  
Chapter- Two  
  
Title- An Insane Emperor and New Hideout.  
  
==  
  
Tasuki sat down with a pout. "Why hadn't they saved me?!" He grumbled.  
  
"But we did, Tasuki-sama!" The girls cried.  
  
Hotohori was still attached to Tasuki's leg. Miaka and Yui were tied up and stuck to a white wall. "I see you've finally taken to the barbaric ways, no da," Chichiri said as he entered the palace.  
  
Loud cheers came from the girls. Chichiri removed his mask and looked over at the two preistesses. "I have always loathed you two...using me, Miaka. For seeing damn Tamahome. You almost got me killed too! My magic and life are NOT refundable! Nor am I replaceable...as these girls see*wink wink with his one eye*"  
  
Tamahome was also tied up and plastered onto a white wall. He struggled. "I'll power up and kick your butt Tasuki! How dare you get all that attention!" He bellowed.  
  
"But but...Tamahome...I love you...," Miaka sniffled.  
  
"Oh Miaka...I...-"  
  
"HATE YOU!!! YOU'RE A SEDUCTIVE, TWO TIMING, CROSSAUNT EATING,PUDDING STEALING-" the list goes on and on.  
  
Tasuki shook his head and pulled out his -tessen- and smiled. "I'd like to see how buns fry..."  
  
Glaring over at Miaka, he gave a statistic wink. Miaka started to convulse next to Yui. "Miaka!!! Stop that! Don't look into his eyes...you don't know what evil, ugliness lies beyond those ugly eyes!" Yui exclaimed.  
  
The fans stood up, marched over to Yui and started to beat at her with bread sticks. Miaka's eyes watched every swing, drool dropped to the ground. "Watch out! It might be poisonous!" The fans squeeled, backing away.  
  
"SHE'S EVIL I TELL YOU! MAKING THE INNOCENT-LOOKING-ACTING MASK! SHE'S JUST LIKE A HORNY LITTLE CORNDOG!!" Tamahome continued.  
  
"Corndog," Chichiri repeated with a laugh.  
  
Nakago appeared and wagged his finger side to side. "Is this a party I was not invited to?" He questioned.  
  
"Oh! We forgot about you, sorry about that," Chiriko said, popping out of nowhere.  
  
Nakago groaned and glanced over at Yui and Miaka. "Psh...look at them..squirming like maggots. What did I ever see in them...toys, yes...hungry toys..."  
  
Suboshi also appeared. His balls in hand.( oh! that's just wrong...but it's those..umm...spikey things..) "I'd like to kill them...especially miss.Yui. Yeah, I did die for you...just to get AWAY!" He announced.  
  
"You guys are insane!" Yui cried.  
  
The fans of Tasuki started to beat at her again, but this time with cabbages speared onto a stick. "You shut up!" They yelled.  
  
Hotohori stopped biting on Tasuki's leg long enough to redo his hair, put clear nailpolish on his fingernails, pluck his eyebrows, get a pedicure and manicure. Then he resumed biting Tasuki's leg.  
  
_;; that was scarey.  
  
"Maybe....you should get him a muzzel....or something..," Chichiri said.  
  
"Tranqulize him," Nakago said with a shrug.  
  
Tasuki tried to shake the emperor off his leg but with no avail. "Damnit! Someone shoot him! For Suzaku's sake!" He cried.  
  
Nakago appeared with a large bazooka. "This oughta take care of everything!"  
  
"N-no!!!! That thing is large enough to take me out too!!!!" Tasuki yelled.  
  
Chiriko pulled out a small water gun and started to squirt Hotohori with it. "Take that!!" He laughed.  
  
Hotohori released his bite and tackled the small warrior. "How DARE you mess up my renewed looks, you little heathen!!! NOW PAY THE PIEPER!" He bellowed.  
  
"Someone HELP ME!!!" Chiriko cried as he ran outside.  
  
Hotohori swung his sword around. "I WILL FIND YOU AND GUT YOU LIKE A TUNA!!!"  
  
He exited the palace and Nakago quickly shut the door afterwards. Dusting off his hands and smiling, he walked towards the throne. Fans of Tasuki knocked Nakago down and carried Tasuki up, setting him on the large throne. "Our emperor!!" They cheered.  
  
Nakago twitched and had a static-like wink in his left eye. "...that...was...my...reward...," he grumbled.  
  
Tasuki wrapped up his leg and held the tessen close to his chest. "Hmmm..I kinda like it up here...you actually have a massage button on the right hand side...I wondered why Hotohori was so attached to it."  
  
"WHO DARES TO SIT IN MY THRONE!!!!???" Hotohori's voice bellowed.  
  
Tasuki jumped out of the throne and tumbled down the steps. The doors burst open and in a mist of feathers, Hotohori stood in the doorframe. "Who was the hoodlum that decided to sit in MY throne!?" He inquired.  
  
A statistic wink had formed in his right eye. No one said a word while Hotohori walked around glaring at people in the eye. "Who WAS it?"  
  
Chichiri fidgeted with his mask and stretched it out some. "Maybe it was Tama," he said.  
  
He pointed at the little cat.  
  
O_O!  
  
Tama quickly hid under the table but it was chopped in half by Hotohori's sword. "You little flea ridden cat! Do you KNOW how MUCH that COSTED me!?"He growled.  
  
The rest of the group decided to leave the palace and head out to the Seiryuu hideout for safe keeping. They watched as the Konan empire began to crumble by its' own emperor. "Maybe we should have taken Tama with us...er, and Miaka, Yui..wait! Nuriko has them!" Tasuki exclaimed.  
  
Nuriko blew air on his fingernails and in his other hand was the three evils. Tamahome, Yui and Miaka. "Where would you be without me?" He inquired with a smirk.  
  
"Let us go!" Miaka screamed.  
  
"AND SHE EATS CHICHIRI'S SUBWAY, TASUKI'S PORK LOIN AND SHE EATS EVERYTHING EDIBLE! EVEN CAT ON A STICK!" Tamahome continued with the list...  
  
"Shut UP!" Yui snapped.  
  
Tasuki shook his head. The fans clapped an applaude for Nuriko and quickly redid the Seiryuu hideout to suit Tasuki's needs. Nakago crossed his arms and glared at the fans. "You all dis-"  
  
He stopped when he was glared at by the girls. "I mean! You all distract me from my daily...umm..vitamin intake!!!" Nakago finished. XD.  
  
"Oh, good," the girls said in unison.  
  
The group entered the hideout and bolted the door behind them, fearing Hotohori would decide to pay them a visit.  
  
- To Be Continued. Hope you think the second chapter is good. Chapter three will come as soon as I get enough reviews ^^;. 


	3. Is HE really gone?

~ Disclaimer ~ I don't own Fushigi Yuugi nor do I own Yu Watasi...hope I spelt the right name for the right anime....**looks around for fans that have purchased a Tasuki's fan from Ebay...** hehehe, anyways! I hope no one who likes Miaka reads this because I loathe that food-eating-man-seducing- while-preistising-maniac! So there...anywho...anyone who is a Tasuki fan knows how I feel **sob** how they made him wear that outfit in the OAV..or..was that OVA...**arn't they the same!!??** anywho! and how they made him fall for Miaka even if it -was- under mind control!!! I feel bad for Tasuki...to actually touch that little she-devil. Tamahome should be ashamed!  
  
- Title - Bashing! The other white meat.  
  
- Author - CheezePilotOfPluto99X  
  
=============== Wow, ppl actually like this! Hehehe, grand!  
  
===============  
  
- Chapter - Three  
  
- Title - Is HE Really Gone?!  
  
---  
  
Tasuki paced in the room. His fans pacing with him. He ran a hand through his hair, the fans also did. Nakago frowned. "Why don't -I- get any fans!!!" He yelled, yanking his blonde hair.  
  
"It's because you're a bastard!" Yui snapped.  
  
Miaka nodded in agreement. The fans glared and pulled out tessens. Miaka quickly faked sleeping. Chichiri woke up from a nap. "Eh, Hotohori hasn't come yet, has he?" He asked no one in particular.  
  
"Gladly!" Chiriko piped up.  
  
Nuriko was busily preening his hair and makeup. "Oooh! I hope he comes!" He chimed.  
  
^^;  
  
Everyone sweatdropped.  
  
Tasuki sat down in a chair and closed his eyes. "Why do I have to be the one to get tortured?" He inquired.  
  
"You are not tortured, Tasuki. You are just privilaged to be hunted by Hotohori," Nakago replied with a sympatheticly fake..uh...gesture?  
  
"The stupid author is a nimrodded pinhead!" Chiriko growled.  
  
The doors burst open and Nakago's jaw dropped. "The hell!!! You destroyed my three thousand dollar pink doorway, you bitch!" He thundered, running over to the peices of pink renments.  
  
A girl with pigtails sticking out each side of her head, a school girls out fit arranged very messily and who was chewing and blowing bubbles of gum appeared. "Who said I was a nimrodded pinhead?" She inquired with a glare.  
  
Tasuki quickly pointed at Chiriko. "Uh, it was the un-puberized child over here!"  
  
Pilot smirked and stepped to the side, revealing many many little girls. "Chiriko!!!!" They screamed in excitement.  
  
"COOOTTTIIESSS!!! AHHH!!!" Chiriko screamed and quickly tried to leave.  
  
The girls glomped him and tried to kiss him. "Get the cooties away!!!"  
  
"Awww!! Chiriko! You are -SO- cute!!!" The girls squeeled.  
  
"I hate you Pilot!!"  
  
  
  
Pilot laughed with a sort of cackle. Tasuki bowed down and the fans glared at Pilot. "Hey now, I made this fic...you can't burn me or do anything harmful to me. Or shall I bring Hotohori back?" Pilot inquired.  
  
The fans started to whistle, pretending they never glared at Pilot. Tasuki rushed over and Pilot leaped into his arms. "Ahhh! I can have my way with anyone in this fic! Bwahahahahaha!"  
  
O_o;;; XD!  
  
"Now, get rid of those maggots," Pilot ordered, gesturing to Yui and Miaka, also Tamahome.  
  
"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!!!" Tamahome cried, struggling in his confinements.  
  
"You will DIE with me, hunny!" Miaka snapped.  
  
"Hunny!? I am NOT your hunny! Besides...it's Honey!!!!"  
  
"Where!? Where!!???"  
  
Nakago posted signs around the palace.  
  
- Bring Your Own Bazooka -  
  
///^-^\\\  
  
Pilot blinked and quickly made her arrangements of how things were to be done. "I want Tasuki in a pair of trunks, Nakago also. I want Chiriko put in a playpen, the victims on one of those things you used to cook pork...stick apples in their mouths too. I want the doors barred, so Hotohori won't be able to get in. I want Suboshi to get some saki and in a pair of trunks. I want some grapes and the fan girls to guard the palace like a pack of wolves...attack anything suspicious," she ordered.  
  
::blink blink::  
  
Everyone did what they were told, Nuriko just sat there. Enjoying himself a little too much. "Eh, what if he comes back?" He asked.  
  
"-If- he comes back. He won't. I know what I'm doing, I was trained in the FU academy."  
  
"Flamers United?"  
  
!  
  
"NO! Fastened Underwear! Ha ha ha!" Tasuki laughed.  
  
::blink::  
  
Pilot cleared her throat, glaring at the stupidity and then blushing at his toned body. "No, it's just..well...f u academy!"  
  
"Oooh! I could make that sound soooo BAD!" Nakago boasted.  
  
"Freaks United?" Suboshi asked.  
  
Pilot rolled her eyes. "Just...shut up about the academy!"  
  
The sound of howling came from the outside. "I didn't mean -act- like wolves! I meant -guarding- ! No howling at the....sun...? No howling period!" Pilot yelled.  
  
Another day survived. But, how long will it last?  
  
-- To Be Continued. I ran out of ideas...O_o;;;. And I think it's past my bed time! ! I'm tired!. So, hope you liked the third chapter...._; 


End file.
